She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Randomize
