to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
