In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
We need to get me chipped asap
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
