i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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