You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
