Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
