My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
