Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Randomize
