it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Randomize
