This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Randomize
