Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Randomize
