what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Randomize
