New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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