then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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