Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
