trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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