are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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