hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
are you so shy because you have an std?
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
