his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
