I cannot find my penis.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
