Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
