When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
