dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
