Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
