i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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