The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
