He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
