She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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