Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
