All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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