i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
So squirting runs in the family.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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