I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
