I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
