Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize
