So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
