Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
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