Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Mom said you looked used
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
