Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
