On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Randomize