R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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