ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Randomize
