Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(847): View more from Illinois

okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.

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(518): View more from New York

You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.

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(847): View more from Illinois

Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf

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(303): View more from Colorado

I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.

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(816): View more from Missouri

Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.

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(985): View more from Louisiana

I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine

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(253): View more from Washington

Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.

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