i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
