Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
only you would photoshop your dick
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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