there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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