Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Randomize
