one two three fourrrrnication!
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
She announced her abortion via fbk
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Randomize
