i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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