idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Randomize
