what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
my being single is dangerous.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
