well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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