I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
