But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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