the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
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